Gun Violence is NOT about the Guns… It is About Our Relationship with Ourselves

Do we really need to continue with this “Be a king series?” As far as I’m concerned, we need to continue this series until the world gets it. Until the world gets the point that being Kings is the only way for the world to start working again.

And judging by every time I turn on cable news, the world ain’t getting it.

The slogan for the Good Men Project is “the conversation no one else is having.” Let’s have this conversation.

What happened to men – to human beings – living rich, fulfilled lives? Why are we all so damned angry?

I get it. The world is full of a lot of pain and heartache. We get our hearts broken. People do us dirty. People do us wrong.

But does a King get a gun and shoot up a concert? Does a king shoot up a church? Do Kings shoot up hospitals? Schools?

And before this piece runs, lord only knows what else is going to happen.

I’m only one man. I’m only one guy. I’m only one King living in Westchester County, New York. But the conversation starts with one voice. And it spreads to the good men and women reading this piece. And this conversation influences everybody you know, and everybody they know, until the entire world is influenced.

That’s the power of one voice. That’s the power of one person’s ideas. And that’s the power of Royalty.

I was saying to a friend of mine, when news reporters are leading their reports with “the worst mass shooting in…” a Church, Texas, a concert, etc.…that’s a tragedy. Because that normalizes this.

And y’know…this ain’t normal, y’all. This isn’t even in the same ballpark as normal!

I have a few ideas I’d like to put out into the world. I’m speaking as one man, but I think if more men live from this place, the world could actually start working again.

• Let’s start dealing with our feelings. So many of us see feelings as something to hide and deny. Yoda was so right. “Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” Let’s start with the root cause. Could this have kept that guy from shooting up an elementary school, or a concert, or a church, or any number of incidents? I don’t know, but it can’t hurt to try.
• Let’s start seeing women as fully realized human beings. Breaking news, women are human beings. They have wants, needs, thoughts, opinions, and ideas. They have love. So many men – so many peasants – see women as…well…as holes for our manhood. As receptacles. I hate to sound like that, but so many men see women simply as sex objects. That leads to the rape culture. That leads to fear of rejection. That leads to anger. And something, something Dark Side.
• Let’s start connecting and let’s stop isolating. Human beings are gregarious animals by nature. We are social creatures. So many of us isolate from the world but we yearn for connection. And when we don’t get that, we lash out. I remember the Unabomber’s manifesto, y’all. Fear leads to anger…I’m just sayin’…
• Start ‘em young. So often, men get their emotions stripped when we’re young boys. I’ll never forget this one young father telling his crying son to “be a little man, stop crying.” Why are we so scared of emotions? Why are we so damn scared of emotions? GMP executive editor Mark Greene has written extensively on this topic (highly recommended reading.) Strip that mask and the world could start working again.
• Let’s get real. Listen to me, this is so important. Let’s show the world our truth. Let’s be real with each other. Let’s be real with our brothers and sisters. Let’s be real with the men and women we love. Let’s be real with our sons and daughters. Hell, let’s be real with our pets. But most importantly, let’s be real with ourselves. When we suppress our truth, that’s when we get in trouble. That’s when we stay in our heads. And that’s when we lash out. We fear the truth. And what happens when we get afraid? Again: something, something Dark Side.

You know something? I don’t know the answers. I don’t have the answers. Again, I’m just one man living near New York City.

But I do know that we need to ask more questions.

We ALL need to start having this conversation. We all need to start talking to, and SEEING each other for who we really are.

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, and I’ll repeat it until I’m blue in the face. Let’s start to see each other as human beings.

Let’s tear down the walls. Let’s take off the masks. Let’s hang up the cloaks. And let’s start to see our brothers and sisters for who they really are.

But most importantly, let’s start to see who we really are as individuals. Because no relationship works without a powerful relationship with yourself.

If you need a reminder that our relationship with ourselves is broken, let me give you a sobering bit of news.

Of the 30 deadliest shootings since 1949, 18 have taken place in the last ten years. And two of the five deadliest have taken place just a little more than a month apart!

This is not normal. This is not right.

Our poor relationship with ourselves is killing people.

Kings are the agents of change and transformation in the world. It’s on us to fix this. We can’t fix the past and we can’t control the future. But if each one of us become the Kings of the world, then the world can start working again.

Step by step, one by one, we can transform the world. But first, we must transform ourselves.
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