Your Mother’s Boyfriend, But Not To You
It’s like you’re coughing.
It’s in the middle of dinner and everyone is staring
and maybe someone acts like they notice.
And then they ask if you’ll leave because it’s too loud,
and no one can do anything about it.
So you go, and cough until you can come back
and be fucking quiet about it already.
We’re on the phone,
his name in her voice.
She’s crying, and parked in an alley,
and she says she was fourteen and he choked her.
All my friends have them.
You’d think we collect them on purpose at this point.
Right swipe on Tinder, and never asked once.
Your teenage crush.
In the white house.
Once my ex-boyfriend paid $240 to take me to laugh at his jokes.
Me too.
A slow simmer and before I even knew the water was boiling
he was done.
You honestly, truly did love him, and still you know it’s true.
He was a good date before that.
You saw them holding hands and you knew that she loved him.
And once you did, too.
Even after he took your name and buried it in the basement.
How you hope she never finds it,
clawing its way out from underneath them.
—
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