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I know this guy.
I grew up with a whole bunch of them.
He’s not THE guy, no. He’s not the leader. But don’t confuse that with the fact that he IS a leader.
No, he’s the guy who hangs with THE guy. Because he can get stuff. Cred. Recognition. Perks. Like getting beer underage, or getting off the hook when he needs to, or getting the benefit of the doubt on grades or what have you.
I know this guy.
He was right there in the back of the bus taunting along with “the other boys”. And when THE guy was on a hot streak, he was laughing and high fiving right along.
He didn’t bring the eggs, but he threw them.
He didn’t come up with the put-down but piled on.
He didn’t start it, but he participated.
He didn’t stop it. Not ONCE!
He knows how to play the game. He’s “one of the boys”.
He would be terrified not to be.
The “others”? Yeah, they look up to him. “He’s a great guy” they’ll say. Look at his “family”, those upstanding citizens (and they probably are). They won’t see, or just don’t remember what he did. They deny any of it ever happened, or it was just messing around.
They don’t know the hurt, the pain, the suffering, the complete indignation, the outright humiliation they caused. It would have been better had they broken an arm, or a rib or a jaw. Those would heal faster.
“Get over it, that was then, this is now.” Easy to say when what was supposed to be “the best time of your life” wasn’t robbed from you forever. I can’t get that back. But I have moved on to something better. Something he can only dream of. I’m NOT bitter, but I can’t erase the wounds.
I knew the parents, and honestly, from everything I could tell, they were good people. They would actually be “shocked” if they really knew. Eddie Haskel wasn’t even that good.
Spoiled, entitled, ruthless little boys. In their network of thieves. Stealing our dignity like a toy that could be swiped. Like it was a commodity that belonged to them.
Oh, it didn’t stop for most of them in high school. Oh no, they went on to be the top frat boys. And then companies and law firms rewarded them for their ruthlessness. It was a badge of HONOR!
I know this guy.
Now he’s the boss of the company, the partner, the judge, the BMOC!
This one, oh this one has been groomed. He’s been waiting for this. No, HE’S ENTITLED TO THIS!! HE PAID HIS DUES DAMMIT!!! He went along with all of it to get here! He said all the right things, went to the right parties, attended the right churches, married the right woman. He sold his soul to the devil and HE gets to have the prize!!! He deserves it!
Some grew up and got out. I like those guys now.
But not this one. He’s that frat boy. He’s in the boys’ network. The same network gathered to confirm his ascension. A network we HAVE to dismantle. One I learned to avoid like the plague. The one I told all the girls, (and still do, to this day) to avoid, but they don’t see. They get the attention they want. They get the perks. They don’t see their own worth. Makes me sad.
It’s time to move forward, my dear men. It’s time to evolve. I’ll help if you want me to. I can show you the way. It’s actually a much more fulfilling life here.
I know this guy.
I grew up with a whole bunch of them.
I’m raising mine to not be one. I hope you are, too.
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This post was previously published on the author’s Facebook timeline and is republished here with his permission.
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The post No More Boys Club appeared first on The Good Men Project.